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Nautical

by Ampersand

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1.
She always liked drinking with the boys in the barn Half a mile from the Great Bay Boulevard They could smoke, they could drink, they could listen to “Music from Big Pink” It was there I got my courage by the water and the reeds I made promises I could never keep, Thought I’d never keep The last time I stayed up Just to watch the sun Rising from the dark (We’ll never be young again) She loved Van Morrison and the Steve Miller Band She tasted of wine and weed, cigarettes from the five and ten She couldn’t bear the thought of him rising up again, Rising up again We borrowed a boat from a friend of mine deep-Atlantic bound on some borrowed time We laid the burden down in the water and prayed he Drifted down Soon enough she left for Abilene or some other Texas town, some other Texas town
2.
The moon was down, and I felt alive When I drowned all my fears in the ocean that night I could not chart all the stars in the sky I can still recall that fleeting look in your eyes Death waits inside us, the bromide holds Good fortunes fade, and our story is told I know you’re looking at a different coast And I am still here trying to conjure your ghost I’ll always be the same Like the summer’s rain, like the body’s pain A heart is like a home, it can let others in You can board up the windows, stoke the fire within It’s funny how the sharpest of pains Turn to dull aches and gently fade away
3.
Head working overtime, staying empty Brain just wags my tongue, words they fail me Time is oversized, but temporary The world just sucks you dry, until you’re empty Light a funeral pyre, and send it out to sea What the vikings did is good enough for me When asked how I lived, say, “deliciously” No, it’s not a lie, not entirely Idle hands, idle heart, an indifferent sea I don’t know, I don’t know what’s become of you and me Grace and discipline, your two-way policy Thy rod and thy staff, they didn’t comfort me Grandpa the carpenter, he built things easily And gave away all his gifts, fool-hearted charity They put a man on trial, but spared him sympathy There but for the grace of god, I thought he was me Any help you get, there’s always a finder’s fee No, it’s not a crime, they did it legally

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released August 26, 2020

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Ampersand New Jersey

From the swamps of South Jersey

Existentialism and Nostalgia

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